My #1 is turning 23 months in a week, and my #2 is 7 months tomorrow. They are 16 months apart, and it's been a wild ride of experiencing #lifewith2under2.

Where do I even start? I think about how hard it is every single day. I stopped posting photos on Instagram because taking photos gets way too hard. Here are 7 things I don't tell people about what life is really like. 

1.  Working with a toddler and a baby at home killed me

Mentally, I'm burnt out. The stress of managing an online business, together with keeping up with the demands of 2 very young kids, is overwhelming. For those of you who asked me how I'm juggling it all, I'm not. On the days that I'm productive and good at my job, those are the days that my kids watched way too much Cocomelon. Mum guilt is always there. 

2. I have no free time

I barely reply to messages. I haven't asked "how are you?" to people I care about, especially in these challenging times. I wish I can be more available. Some days it can feel like I'm failing as a daughter, sister, friend and sometimes as a wife.  

3. It will test your marriage

You see, having one kid is cute. You go for brunch, and you're that cute couple with a baby. You have time to go for date nights if you can get mum to babysit.

It's a whole different story with 2. Husband is no longer priority number 1 or 2. He will have to come after the kids. The change in dynamics takes time to process and this requires hard work from both sides. With the lack of time and energy, it's easy to just get used to the current situation and not try to rekindle things.

4.  Breastfeeding is so tiring

I exclusively breastfed my #2 for 5 months. She would have a feed every 2.5 hours, and each feed would last for 40-60 minutes. She was pretty much stuck to my boob all day. I love breastfeeding, but it made me feel like my energy was constantly being sucked out. It's bloody exhausting!

Not to mention, I couldn't leave the house for more than 2 hours. I've never been this tired and conflicted. So many times, I wanted to quit breastfeeding and be done with it.  

5. Travelling is a no-no

We travelled to Vietnam for Christmas last year, and I think about how easy parenting can seem from my Instagram photos. You see the fish tacos and margaritas, and the kids seemingly entertained. Well, my toddler only slept for 2 hours in the 15 hour journey to get there and my 3 month old screamed and cried throughout dinner. You can't see how tired I look because make up and Instagram filters work wonders. 

Also, no point in getting a pool villa if we don't even have time to take a swim.

6. Getting them on the same schedule is so hard

Maybe it's just me. I'm not very good with strict routines. Everyone else seems to ace at syncing nap time, meal time, and play time. I know how important it is to get them on the same schedule, but I just can't seem to work it out. 

7. A lot of sh*tty days do not make you a bad mom

It's easy to feel like a good mom when everything is going right. But when emotions run high, we can be better than we were yesterday or an hour ago when we lost our sh*t. We're good moms even through our struggles. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Leave us a comment below or join our newsletter for more real motherhood posts. xx