Mama, are you a winger or a planner?

Mama, are you a winger or a planner?

My husband is a planner. I'm the opposite. My phone has 26,087 photos (not kidding) of which a third are spam and duplicate photos. I hate planning what to cook for the week, and to-do lists always make me feel like a failure. 

But when it comes to parenting, a part of me was terrified of how life was going to change with the arrival of our firstborn, so I embraced the flexible structure and routine we put in place. I was big on feeding and night time sleeping routines. It was unexpected! And I thought I was a winger in life.

Mama, do you find yourself changing after having babies alternating between a winger and a planner? Or have you always been a certain type? Take our quiz below to find out!

1. To remember things you need to:

  1. Do nothing
  2. Email it to yourself and search for it later
  3. Write them down on a to-do list

2. It's time for grocery shopping. How do you usually shop?

  1. Head to the supermarket and look around. We'll come up with something
  2. It's all in my head. I know what to get and where to get them from 
  3. Research recipes for the week and make a list of all things to buy

3. Do you tend to double-book yourself?

  1. Yes, quite often actually
  2. Happened once or twice
  3. Never

4. When do you unload the dishwasher?

  1. When my sink is full of dirty dishes
  2. When I have time here and there
  3. Every morning after I wake up 

5. I like to plan my week

  1. I like spontaneity, taking one day at a time
  2. Sometimes when there are important things to get done 
  3. Yes, I like to know how my week will look like

6. How frequent does your baby feed?

  1. On demand
  2. On demand in the day, but last feed will be a dream feed at the same time every night
  3. Every 2-3 hours

7. Does your baby have a bedtime routine?

  1. No, we just read baby's sleepy cues
  2. Some days yes, but not when we are out 
  3. Absolutely, every night

8. Do you have a nap routine?

  1. Nope, mostly out on outings and coffee dates
  2. Only when we're home, otherwise baby will sleep in my arms or the pram
  3. Yes, playdates and catch-ups are scheduled around baby's nap times

9. What best describes your mom lifestyle?

  1. Attachment parenting
  2. We set the schedule and flow of the day, but with no set time frames
  3. We live by a schedule

If your answers are mostly:

A. You are a Winger. You’re already used to chaos and spontaneity, and you like the idea of the kids working around you and your plans. If someone invites you out, you're not confined to baby's routines and you just go for it. This doesn't mean you don't meet baby's needs, it's just that you don't have set feeding, bed, nap or playtimes. You feed on demand and follow baby's tired and hunger cues. Yes sometimes it could get demanding physically and emotionally as decisions are made with the mindset of what baby would like best, but this works well with your family and doing things by the ‘clock’ is just not you. 

B. You are an In-between. You found your middle ground with a combination of parenting styles. You may believe in babywearing and the healthy bond it creates between you and your baby but also believe that it’s important for your baby to be able to sleep independently and in their bed. Some days, you are fairly organised and do try to have baby in bed by 8 pm. But if it doesn’t happen, you don’t get too flustered. You’re not fanatic about neatness or structure, and you don't mind adapting if your baby has other ideas. 

C. You are a Planner. You are productive, efficient and you like the fact that at 8 pm every night, you have time for yourself. You hate “playing things by ear” and seeing how you feel in the moment. Multitasking is your jam, and even if you’re exhausted, you keep moving. You are prompt and thoughtful, and no detail falls by the wayside. You are self-critical and sometimes it can get quite overwhelming so remember to be gentle on yourself. 

There is no right and wrong on the kind of mama you are.

There are lots of passionate opinions and baby manuals out there, sometimes making us self-doubt that we're doing something wrong. And yes, we paranoid mamas will question if it's better to do the 'thing' that so many other moms seem to be doing as well.

But know this, you do your brand of motherhood and no one has to validate your decisions as a mom. 

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