When I first got pregnant and attended my ante natal Pilates class, I saw a few mums with their newborns happily sleeping in their baby capsules. I thought “Ah, that would be my life in less than 2 months”. Far from what was expected, it was difficult enough to settle my baby at home let alone outside in public. 

My second daughter was definitely not very "portable". At 5-6 weeks, she started being more alert and less sleepy. She would cry a lot and nothing would soothe her. 

She didn’t want the boob or the dummy

She was so difficult to figure out. She wanted to suckle, but screamed and pushed away from my boob. Then, she came back to it, and cracked it when milk came out of the boob. I wished she would just take the dummy, because all she wanted was a human dummy with no milk. 

It was hours of bouncing her and she would still cry

My shoulder was so sore from hours of non-stop bouncing and rocking and I was doing every settling technique I knew of to settle her. 

Was it colic? Or reflux? Or just trapped wind?

Yes she cried a lot. But not consistently for 3 hours a day, 3 times a week for more than consecutive 3 weeks. Plus, it’s too early to say if it’s colic at that stage. 

Is it reflux? Or silent reflux? It’s easy to jump to this conclusion if baby shows some symptoms like spitting out a lot and arching of back. And deep down, I craved for a rational explanation as to why she was crying and so hard to settle. 

But that’s the thing! Babies are not like us adults and they are not the most rational beings. I just had to accept that babies cry. That’s their language.

Perhaps she wasn't winded enough, had short feeds and short sleeps and by evening, she got over-tired and became unsettled. Perhaps it’s the witching hour. Perhaps she’s going through leap 1, an intense period of infant development. I don’t know and I can only guess.  

Whichever it is, week 5 killed me. And it’s humbled me. For mamas going through this stage, I can definitely relate. It's not easy when it happens night after night and you're experiencing it. Take a deep breath. Slow down your pace. And reset.